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   It is our 4th monthsary.. since we can't be together, we played "literati" instead. pakshet. wattaway to celebrate this special day. Hmph. Di talga ako magaling sa ganito. Amf, so shempre, I lost. Not just because I'm not good at this, but also because... Master na nya ang "words".. Its usage, meaning, and everything. Amf. Talo ako. Nice.

   For the past several nights, I've been chatting with IC (Inigo Carlo), Kim's ex-boyfriend. Namiss ko na yun. Haaah! Kahit papano kasi, antagal ng pinagsamahan namin nun nung summer... during my RO-addiction days. Kasama ko yun na 1 to sawa sa harap ng PC. Katelebabad ko pa nga nuon yun for hours eh. Yeah Yeah, he's 22 or 23 years old. Haha. Eh ano ngayon? :p Yun nga ang masaya dun eh. May sense na kausap. :)

   No, this is not another "the essence of christmas" post. Sorry ha, i'm non-catholic kasi and sa religion kasi namin, walang christmas eh. Pero sige, sa mga may christmas, merry merry narin. Hehe. Am I makin sense here?

   Kahapon, I was browsing through friendster profiles... I visited Ai's (my only sister) page and read some of her stuff there... Haaay, I felt bad. As I was reading her "about me" section, nagulat ako. I didn't know that she kept some problems... Wala shang sinasabi sakin. We're together for every single day, literally, kasi from the time she wakes up... katabi ko na yun dahil sa ragnarok.. hanggang bago kami matulog.. BUT, she never told me about her problems.

   As I read her "about me" section, I easily knew what her problem was. Just like some of my closest friends, she's often misunderstood by other people. Tsss. Nakakalungkot. I didn't know how to comfort her. Pssssh. I had no clue. When we're together (which is like forever) tawa lang kasi kami ng tawa. We'd laugh about ... EVERYTHING. Tatawanan namin yung halimaw sa ragnarok, tatawanan namin yung mga txt message sakanya, tatawanan namin mga wrong pronounciation ng mga tao, tatawanan namin yung mga kwento ng isa't isa... LAHAT talga. Pero shempre, minsan, nagkakaasaran kami... Never naman tumagal yun. Our sib thing has truly been so much better.

   In spite of all the "comparisons", (yes, the "mas mabait si ganyan... mas masunurin si ganito.. mas charming si ano.. mas masipag si blahblah..").. despite all the catfights, the "sumbungans", and the "gayahans"... Mahal na mahal ko parin yung kapatid ko. AND I HATE IT when she feels bad. Masakit din sakin yun... Believe it or not. Kayo man, magkaron na kaisa-isang kapatid.. na super kasama mo lagi... Kabaliktad lang ng pangalan mo... na 2 days lang ang difference ng bday nya sa bday mo... Na laging andyan para makinig sa kwento mo... Nakngpating, tingnan ko lang kung di kayo maapektuhan pag may nang-gaganun sakanya.

   Right after I saw her profile, kinausap ko xa... I asked her about it. But she never told me anything. She didn't want to explain. I told her that I'm willing to listen.. kahit hanggang pasko pa abutin yun, but she told me that aabutin daw ng new year pag kinwento nya pa. She was smiling.... But her eyes were misty. Ang galing magpigil ng luha nun... She's really good at it. Dito nga sa bahay, konting samting lang, iyak na ko... But Ai? Almost never yun umiyak sa harap nila mommy... But I knew she was affected. Di nga xa makatingin ng direcho sakin eh.

   All she told me was: "Okay lang ako, ate.", with misty eyes and a broken smile. Perhaps she wasn't ready to tell me things yet. So, I just gave her a pat on her shoulder.. and told her.. (in a very "casual-kuno" mode)... "Leche, sabihin mo dun sa mga asar sayo, tanga nila. Bayaan mo na nga yun, mahal ka naman namin eh. Hmph!"

Alam kong hindi sha okay, and it hurts me to see that. :(

   After months of no communication, bigla kaming nagchat ng pinsan ko.. Okay sa olrayt. Wala pang "kamusta kna.. blahblahblah..." Ang tinanong nya agad,

"sino yung lalake sa friendster mo?.. Yung kasama mo sa pikchur"

Shempre, since honest akong pinsan (sa pinsan lang..=Þ).. sagot naman ako...

"Boypren ko.."...

At chanchararaaan... di sha nagalit... tinanong nya pa nga kung kelan pa daw.. Di na raw kasi ako nagkukwento... Tapos, bago sha mag-bye... Sabi nya ay: "Ia, santa-santita ka talga!" at shempre, tinanong ko sha.. "ah eh, define santa-santita?"

Santa-santita - noun daw na ginawang adjective - ibig daw sabihin nun eh mukang mabait, mukang inosente, pero actually, maraming ginagawang kalokohan, pilya.

Oh well, kung yun nga ang definition nya ng "santa-santita".. o di sige narin. Santa-santita kung santa-santita.. Psshh, ganun talga.

Harhar :)

Nga pala, maraming nagreact sa breathless post ko.. Hehe. Kwayet lang kayo, okay? :p

3na

Hapi hapi hapi birthday. :)
Sayo ang lalake... (kami ang dadale..)

Wahehehehe. Mwaaaah.

my mom tells me i'm bad. and i hate it. she wanted something from me... but i wasn't able to do her a favor. She didn't know what I was going through during that time. She really didn't know. The time was just not right. If only I knew that she wanted that from me badly, I would have done what she wanted... But no, I was going through some "hard" obstacles in my life. It was hard for me to do it, because I had my own problems too...

Yes, I'm breaking and I'm falling apart. I don't know how to start... again.

   We went to punchline comedy bar (again) last night. It was the birthday of Ai's classmate and dun nag-celebrate ang mga bagets. Okay, 19 kids.. Plus some of their kuyas... (Fieldtrip ito?) Anyway, we all had fun. We were all laughing wa-poisely... Wapakels talga. Heh. And shempre, ambabaw ko talga... Nagpa-pikchur ako kay kitkat.. Hehe. The little boys were all KILIG kay kitkat. They kept on taking pictures of her dahil naka-miniskirt yung girl. But anyway, kitkat was all nice and friendly. Lahat kasi, pinikchuran sha... Mga 19 times? hehe. But she didn't make any arte whatsoever.  Yeah, I'm istarstrak... well, sorta. :)


Yebah yebah! Feeling close ako. Haha.
***Anhaba ng bakasyon. Grabe. Lalo tuloy ako tinatamad..Pero ayus lang, at least, walang pasok. Haha. And yes, return of the comeback na ko sa ragnarok! Wahehehe. Eyebags nanaman ito. Amf... Oh well, bahala na. Pssssh. :p

Nakita ko na nga pala grades ko sa report card. Harhaaaaaar. It wasn't that bad. Kala ko naman puro 80 na lang grades ko... DI NAMAN PALA. Haha. In spite of my katamaran and my non-submission of requirements this quarter (plus my HABITUAL late attendance in between classes)... My grades are... just fine. Haha. Not bad ah! haha. Ayan tuloy, lalo ako tinamad... Okay naman pala kasi eh. hehe.

siguro nga... siguro nga.